Politics

Politics jokes

Trump

    • Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.

    As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.

    As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.

    Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"

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    • Politics memes

    Vanilla

    • What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?

    Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.

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    • Country

    • In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."

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    • Government

    • A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed.

    In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”

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    • Wall

    • When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?

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    • Meat

    • Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?

    Answer; Because it's where everyone goes to "Hang Their Meat"!

    God

    • If you argued that God was a woman, 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell.

    Just to ask the other guy.

    Talk about a male supremacist religion.

    Time

    • I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

    Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.