Politics jokes
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
Hitler was the most handsome man alive.
Everyone died for him.
China.
What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?
Might in dynamite.
What makes genders and Twin Towers similar?
There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive subject.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
They both have a history of separating colors.
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!
"Ukraine be like Escape to Witch Mountain!"
Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
Why do women only use their left arm? Because they don’t have rights.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.