Politics jokes
For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
What is black and white and red all over?
JFK
George Floyd is truly breathtaking.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.
Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.
My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.
Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.