Politics jokes
Tell me a joke about my hairline.
No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
Donald: "If I lose this election, I will leave the country."
Joe: "Bi den"
It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."
Hitler walked so Kim can run.
Law is temporary. Syria is eternal.
Joe Biden deez nuts.
JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
Why can't Americans play chess...
Because they lost 2 towers.
The last two presidents of the US.
The reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis!
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?
A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.
"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"
"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?
A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.
If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?
What do you and Joe Biden have in common?
Nobody loves you or him.
What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?