Politics jokes
What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him.
The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”
"North America, best America."
What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Trump.
How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!
Why do INBRED RACIST WHITE TRASH SCUM live on "Welfare" and vote for Republicans?
Answer: Because they are RETARDED due to the "Inbreeding"!
Yo mama's hairline is so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it.
Me, Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*
Why does former president Donald J. Trump still want the Mexican government to help him to build a wall to keep them out because he is a Christian nationalist on steroids?
"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."
Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.
Why didn't Donald Trump build the wall?
Because Mexicans did not and would not build the damn wall!
"Do you know the Annoying Orange?"
"Yeah, they elected him before Biden!"
I'm Joe Biden's husband.
Man, I hate the government.
When is Donald Trump?
Capitalism.
What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice?
Answer: Attorney General William Barr!
Why did Trump's brain cross the road?
Oh wait, there is no other side.