What does Hitler's partner say when he begins?
"Hindin!"
Politics Jokes
Why can't Americans play chess...
Because they lost 2 towers.
Why did Hittle kill himself? Because he wanted to buy a car, but then Hittler farted.
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under the Sea," from The Little Mermaid.
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
They already lost two towers.
England: No towers?
America: No queen?
England: Remember 1812?
America: No tea?
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
The best quote by Kim Jong Un:
"Meeting girl in park is good, but parking meat in girl is better."
You know why Ted Cruz left Texas?
Because they never take a chill pill.
What do cheap people use to talk?
Free speech.
China, unban Google, r.n. noOoOooOw!
Know the nuclear bombs of the world.
🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb
🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”
🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb
🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing
🇮🇱🧨 what bomb
🇮🇷🧨 just self defence
Why can’t you play Uno with Mexicans?
Because they’ll steal all the green cards.
What do you call an Israeli strike against Gaza?
A Kike Strike!
Alberta Premier Danielle Smith is in hot water for importing $49 million worth of Tylenol that medical facilities couldn't even use.
I have a few suggestions about what she can do with all that Tylenol.
Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.
Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.
I heard Danielle Smith likes trains.
So I told her to go stand in front of one.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
Black lives matter.
