Politics jokes

What is the difference between the human rights?

You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!

I don't laugh at Trump.

I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.

Q. What's the difference between Donald Trump and orange Jello?

A. The Jello has a higher IQ.

I used to think all Americans were racist.

Now I've changed my mind. They DID elect an orange president.

Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.

Are you guys alright?

If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.

(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)

What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?

They were both killed by Romans.

Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.

There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.

There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.

Want to hear a racist joke?

Donald Trump.

Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him.

The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”

"North America, best America."

Trump.

What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!

Why do INBRED RACIST WHITE TRASH SCUM live on "Welfare" and vote for Republicans?

Answer: Because they are RETARDED due to the "Inbreeding"!

Why does former president Donald J. Trump still want the Mexican government to help him to build a wall to keep them out because he is a Christian nationalist on steroids?

Yo mama's hairline is so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it.

Me, Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*

"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."