Glad jokes
Orange you glad you are not a comedian?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!
"Wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."
"That was pretty DAD!"
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
A man goes into a job interview and sits down.
The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"
The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"
The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"
The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."
When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,
I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.
Hello, if you don't know me (which you probably don't), my name is watersharky, or WS, or Shark.
I am a normal, weird kid/preteen, and that's it. If you want more info on me, I will gladly share! Shark out.
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange ya glad this isn't another stupid orphan joke that has been posted 10 times before!
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
All these oranges, but you're still the one for me.
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.
LOL.
Dad, sad, bad, rad, nad, tad, glad, clad, plaid, had.
"Orange you glad I made it?"
So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
In Israel, they chop convicted rapists' balls off. Sure glad I don't live in Israel.