Politics jokes
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
Once I saw a retard and an Alberta separatist having a conversation.
Well, actually, it was just the Alberta separatist talking to himself.
What did Rob O'Neill say before he shot Osama Bin Laden between the eyes?
"Go to HELLakbar!"
Biden and Trump.
That's it. That's the joke.
How many times did Rob O'Neill shoot Bin Laden? 911 times.
What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite song currently?
"Under the Sea" by The Little Mermaid!
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
Blame Austria for creating Hitler, who we know today. He failed art school.
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.
Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.
And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.
How much is McDonald's on a hot day?
Trump cut the company's advertising spending on Spotcom by 25%.
When people are ready to die for their country:
Trust the Unionist Party.
Better than Reform.
Putin's words paint a picture of his world as vast, but in reality, it is shrinking.
Hitler was a nazi.
Who will win the war: like for Russia, dislike for Ukraine?
Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?
A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.
As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...
Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"
Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”