Politics jokes
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
Who got shot in the head? JFK did!
What is Osama bin Laden singing right now?
*cue the little mermaid* "Undaaa the sea, undaaa the sea"
Republicunts/Cuntservaturds.
Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
Hello my fellow Americans, I'm playing Clash Royale for the USA clan, and two towers are already gone?
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Arabs: WHO PUT THAT TOWER THERE... we must destroy it!
Why can't Chinese do anything? The government won't let them.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
"Terrorist, that’s a little strong. We call them private militaries."
Florida: Homemade Taco Stand.
California: Homemade Lemonade Stand.
Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand.
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
What did Osama have?
Two Boeings and a dream.
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.