Alberta jokes

Once I saw a retard and an Alberta separatist having a conversation.

Well, actually, it was just the Alberta separatist talking to himself.

Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.

Alberta.

The only province where the Premier wears anal beads around her neck.

Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.

I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.

How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.