Politics

Politics jokes

"You're the bomb."

"No, you're the bomb."

A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

I got kicked out of a library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.

A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."

What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?

White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!