Politics jokes

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

Hello my fellow Americans, I'm playing Clash Royale for the USA clan, and two towers are already gone?

Yo mama's hairline is so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it.

Me, Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*

Law is temporary. Syria is eternal.

What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.

To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!

Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?

No, what happened?

He couldn’t stop pootin!

I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.

I'm Joe Biden's husband.

Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!

I'm Joe Biden's husband.

What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.

Why does America suck at chess?

They lost two towers.

BIDEN!

What do you call a Terrorist in a wheel chair?

RCXD in bound

Why will America always lose in chess?

It lost its two towers!

"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."

Russia—the real joke.

"Do you know the Annoying Orange?"

"Yeah, they elected him before Biden!"

Russia.