What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head?
A bullet.
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
Make america hate again
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
He's homeless.
Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...
The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.
There are sexiest women in politics.
They should be in a car showroom.
iran
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
"Consent is just some fucked up feminist propaganda."
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome.
No one:
Literally no one:
Abraham Lincoln: *dies*
John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*
America once was known as an Obama nation. Now we're known as an abomination.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
America: I'm going to build a wall.
Nazi: Been there.
Soviet Union: Done that.
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
