Politics jokes
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
Your mamma is so fat that even a North Korean missile would have competition.
What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?
A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.
Yo mama is so ugly that even Donald Trump couldn't be inside her dreams.
What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?
A dictator.
Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?
A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?
A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
🤔
American Communist Lawyers Union.
What does BLM stand for?
Black Lust Matters.
In the year 2020, who were the biggest enemies?
Coronavirus and toilet paper.
BLM.
How did the United States become a country? It broke all of its states.
Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.
What is anonymous 🤔 oral masturbation? the politically correct word for anonymous gay fellatio from a 🕳 glory hole inside a 📖 adult book store
How do you keep a homophobic heterosexual man that is a minister and a Christian nationalist with blond hair in suspense?
Wait until Christmas to take away his church's tax-exempt status or he will call the ACLU.
Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...
*disconnected*
What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
The annoying orange told the annoying, insecure, beta bitch orange that he wants to be the most annoying thing on Earth again.