Policy jokes
Okay, the joke's over. Bring back Trump!
Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
What are American schools?
Shooting ranges.
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
Orphans can’t work at Johnson and Johnson because it’s a family company.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
A man walks into a library.
Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"
Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"
Suicidal Man: ...
Librarian: ...
The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
Healthcare these days is a bit of an Obamanation.
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week. She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.
What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?
One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.
What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?
It just doesn't work...
Gun control...
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.