Police jokes
Why doesn't the police arrest orphans? Because they aren't wanted.
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
What do orphans and police not have in common?
The police can actually go home.
More cops died from COVID than anything else last year, hahahaha.
They should have shot COVID instead of Tyrone on the microphone, lmfao.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
A Story:
I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.
Sequel follows...
I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
The police told everyone to put their hands up, and the police were having fun waving their hands around.
What is the Mexican police number?
9 Juan Juan.
When the police caught him stealing batteries, he was immediately charged.
The cops are accusing him of resisting. He's now languishing in a cell, where he is currently awaiting an appearance in Circuit Court.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"