Police Jokes

As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in, and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said,"Drama queen!"

i called the suicide hotline and he suggested i drew on myself to distract myself. i replied id get ink poisoning

wouldnt recommend the police came

Yo hairline been missing so badly, that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it

911, what’s your emergency? I asked, and listening to the quiet sobs of a litte kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me” the girl said and cried making me freeze on the spot as i recognized my daughter’s voice.

What is a prostitutes favorite form of traffic control?

Speed Humps

What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"

get a calculator. ok anyways sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs)and her friend said it was 222 many,she got caught by the police and was taken to 51 street.she got arrested for x8 days,so she was BOOBLESS

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I hate double standards if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing a good job if you burn a body t home you're destroying evidence.

Why did the orphan become a killer? Because he knew they would not look for him

Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!

"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia."

"Wait! I can explain everything."

A lady runs into a police station and yells "help, help". I've been graped then a police officer says "Do you mean raped". The girl then replies "No there was a bunch of em".