Planet jokes
Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the π is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of π? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?
Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"
Why is Jupiter so big? Because it works out!
Why is Mars red and not orange? Because it would be too bright.
I'm no astronomer, but Iβm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
Your forehead is so big NASA thought it was Mars.
Your hairline is so big, it counts as its own planet.
NASA found water on Mars.
Mars - 1
Africa - 0
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
Yo mama so fat, when she had an interview for NASA, they said, "We don't hire planets."
"Yo mama so fat, she thought Saturn was deez nuts."
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
Hey, I never knew we had a planet in our body!
Replace the v in Venus with a p.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits around the earth, she sits around the earth.