Planet Jokes

How Jupiter was discovered.

Once there was a fat lady who farted yellow, orange, and peach. All that fart went to space and created a planet that NASA saw and went over there, but it smelled really bad.

I'm going to your mom's house. Can you help me, planet?

The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.

You know the only way to win is you have to actually planet.

We are gonna crush you in the try not to laugh.

At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.

The earth is not round.

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You suck!

If Uranus is so gross, why do they take HD photos of it?

I love the way the Earth rotates.

It really makes my day!

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.

Want to know why some astronomers are gay?

It’s because they want to be in Uranus.

Why does the Sun go to school?

Can we have a party in space?

First, we need to planet ;)

Get it? "Plan it" = planet.

The earth is flat.

I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?

Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?

Because you need to planet.

What is blue, green, flat, and has teeth?

The Earth, but I lied about the teeth.

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".