I go to Venus to get a bigger penis.
What is the gassiest planet? Uranus
Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.
Which planet would I consider dating?
I don’t know, but not Saturn because she’s already got a ring on her.
Why has nobody been on Neptune? Because the wind is so big. And why the wind's so big? Because Neptune's yelling, "GETT OFFF MMY PPRROOPERRTY!!"
Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)
Earth is smaller than Uranus, wth?
Guy 1: "Stop looking at my ass!" Guy 2: "I said look at Uranus." Guy 1: "I'm looking at uranus!" Guy 2: "I said Uranus like the planet!" Guy 1: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Yo mama so fat, when she went swimming, they found water on Mars!
73 Earths can fit in Uranus.
Yo forehead so big, NASA needed it for the new planet, stupid!
Uranus is sideways and leaking methane.
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
What did Mars say to Saturn?
"Give me one of your rings!" 😄
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
Why is Mars red? Because it saw Uranus! 😂
Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.
By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.
I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.
During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.
Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
Yo mama so fat, she plays tennis with Pluto.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
My friend, what's up?
Me: What's up in space is planets and stars.
