Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.
Pilot Jokes
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.
Someone ordered pizza on a tower... A plane came.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!
"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?
A biplane.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
Call me Kobe Bryant, cause I'm gonna helicopter out of this one.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
