Pilot jokes

The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.

Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.

I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.

Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.

Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.

What do you call a black man flying a plane?

A pilot, you racist bastard!

Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.

Someone ordered pizza on a tower... A plane came.

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"

It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...

He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.

I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.

My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?

A biplane.

Time flies by, doesn’t it?

But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.

(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.

My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.

Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!

Call me Kobe Bryant, cause I'm gonna helicopter out of this one.