Pilot jokes

I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.

What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.

Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.

What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?

A biplane.

There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”

The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”

The third blonde says “so we go at night.”

This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.

But, it's like a plane pizza.

Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.

How old are 9/11 victims?

"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"

Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.

Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.

Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.

Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

Me dozing off while driving.

Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.

I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...

I know, I'm going to hell!

I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"

There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.

I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Why did the plane crash?

Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.

What did the helicopter say?

Helicopter: "Kobe!"

Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.

One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.

Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!