Physics jokes
MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
MAN 2) No.
MAN 1) Neither did he.
What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?
The robot.
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?
The rope would catch her.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you? No charge!"
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.
What's the different between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? Both of them can't stand up.
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.