Physics jokes

Stephen Hawking is as broke as his legs.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheeles.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?"

The bartender responds, "For you, no charge."

He's dead.

I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).

I wish Stephen Hawking could've just walked—oh wait, never mind.

He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."

Stephen Hawking tried to crack Abutu.

Your forehead's so big, Jupiter's moons look up to it.

If you shined a light on it, it would reflect and be a star in the Andromeda galaxy.

Your forehead's so big, it's the main foundation for the wall of China.

Your forehead's so big, it makes up half of the Milky Way's mass.

Your forehead's the reason why the Earth still spins.

Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.

What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.

He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.

Stephen Hawking is ALIVE!

The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.

Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.

What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?

His left shoulder.

I'm glad Stephen Hawking died because he was wheely wheely bad.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Steven.

Can't you read? It says, "No Hawking."