Physics jokes
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.
What falls and never gets hurt? Rain ☔
What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?
You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.
I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).
He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."
Stephen Hawking tried to crack Abutu.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheeles.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
He couldn’t climb the stairway.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?"
The bartender responds, "For you, no charge."
He's dead.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.
Stephen Hawking is as broke as his legs.
I wish Stephen Hawking could've just walked—oh wait, never mind.
Your forehead's so big, Jupiter's moons look up to it.
If you shined a light on it, it would reflect and be a star in the Andromeda galaxy.
Your forehead's so big, it's the main foundation for the wall of China.
Your forehead's so big, it makes up half of the Milky Way's mass.
Your forehead's the reason why the Earth still spins.
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.
What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
His left shoulder.
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.
Stephen Hawking is ALIVE!