Physics jokes
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.
Why did Bob fall? Because gravity was mad at him.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar...
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Deja Vu.
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.
(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)
Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.
Stephen Hawking will be greatly missed for the time he walked this Earth.
MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
MAN 2) No.
MAN 1) Neither did he.
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
Yes, Stephen Hawking is alive.
YEET!
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.