Physics jokes
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
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I wish Stephen Hawking could've just walked—oh wait, never mind.
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?
There is a really, really small guy and his name is Adam, so I say, "Hey, look, it's an atom!"
Yo mama so fat, she curves space and time.
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
What's the different between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? Both of them can't stand up.
😳 😳 😳 what can a physically handicapped ♿ 👬 👨 👨 gay man can do better than a physically handicapped ♿ bisexual man 👨 👩 👨 🤔 when his 👄 mouth is wide open 😍 when his head is sticking out under the stall inside the men's 🚹 restroom 🚻 at a rest 😴 area 😴 suck the chrome of a tall pipe 👄
You're so fat when you step, you break the galaxy.
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?
dribbling.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
Zion is so big, when he walks it's an earthquake.
What does e equal?
I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.
Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.
How do you make a trash can leak?
Hit it with an axe until it becomes part of the cosmos!