Physics jokes
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you? No charge!"
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
He's dead now.
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.
Why is the sun lit?
Because it has much solar.
What is meals on wheels to a Christian nationalist that is also a conservative Republican politician, a gay man in a wheelchair that is poor and also physically handicapped, and who is also well-endowed?
Yo mama so fat, she curves space and time.
What would Stephen Hawking do to get drunk?
Overcharge himself.
Stephen Hawking couldn't take the stairway to Heaven, he had to take the lift.
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
I threw a boomerang years ago. Now I live in constant fear.
What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.