Personal jokes

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?

You really thought n****r, didn't you?

"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"

"Claustrophobic!"

If a mentally challenged person shows up late,

Is it ok to call him tardy?

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?

Guarded.

Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.

Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏

Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.

What do you call a gay person on fire?

LGBBQ

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?

We're both blind.

When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."

What war did the black community win?

The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?

I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.

I just cut everyone.

Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?

Because a black person was approaching.

Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

White person: Dad, you're home!

Black person: Dad?

White person: You can keep the change.

Black person: Empty the register.

What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.

What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?

About 3 years.