Personal jokes
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?
What is a gay person’s favourite meal?
Willy con carne.
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
Joker: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
Person: Because he felt it in his bones?
Joker: He read the weather forecast, you f*cking idiot.
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
What do you get when you put a clown, a peodophile, a gay wet person?
Answer: YOUR DAD
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Anything they can't catch you.
A random drunk person ate poop, but he found out it was liquid...
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"
The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"
The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."
Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.
Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).
Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!
Bully: Ew, no I don't!
Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?
The person who is reading this.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.