Personal jokes
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
Who is the blindest person in the world?
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
When a deaf person is on trial, is it really considered a hearing?
What's a smart person's favorite candy? Nerds! :D
What do you call a deaf person?
Whatever you want!
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?
Because a black person was approaching.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.