Personal jokes
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
Memes
Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?
"Happynese" (happy knees).
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
Who is the blindest person in the world?
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
What do you call a deaf person?
Whatever you want!
When a deaf person is on trial, is it really considered a hearing?
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
What's a smart person's favorite candy? Nerds! :D
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.