Personal jokes
They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.
I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
What do you call a Black person going down a waterslide? Sewage.
What is a self-harm person's favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
What the heck did I discover?
Here [are] some questions firesharky:
1. What color hair do u have?
2. What[s] MY parents['] names? What hospital [were] u born in?
3. What state [were] u born in?
Do not say I don't know.
Person: Where's your mom and dad?
Orphan: :(
Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
Ben 10 and a disabled person are the same, but no aliens for the disabled person.
So, a person walked into a shop.
Shop guy: "Hey RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD."
This is REALLY funny.
Please upvote, comment, and like.
Thank you very much.
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.
I just cut everyone.