Personal jokes
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!
Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
Someone bullied a disabled person.
The disabled person said they can't stand it.
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
What is a suicidal horny person's job?
A butcher.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
What do you call a gay person who is gay but just can't admit it? A Filipino.
So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.
The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.
What has legs but can't walk?
Don't know? A paralyzed person ;))
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
What did the homeless person get for Christmas?
- Nothing.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.
What do you call a gay person in Antarctica?
Bi-Polar.
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.
Jeffrey Epstein was a horrible person, but at least he killed Jeffrey Epstein.
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?