Personal jokes
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
Who is the blindest person in the world?
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
When a deaf person is on trial, is it really considered a hearing?
What's a smart person's favorite candy? Nerds! :D
What do you call a deaf person?
Whatever you want!
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"