Personal jokes
What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
What did the homeless person get for Christmas?
- Nothing.
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
Why do you always high five the emo person? 'Cause you can't just leave them hanging.
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
What did Scorpion say to the ugly person?
"STAY OVER THERE!"
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
Did you know, the average gay person likes men?
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?
Impossible!
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
What do you call a person without a nose and who doesn't know much?
Nose-less.