Personal jokes

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.

When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."

A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."

How to kill a blind person.

Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

The person I hate: Omg, my mom and dad just died.

Me: Omg, I am so sorry, don't worry.

The person I hate: I have a boyfriend.

Me: Well, I have a mom and dad.

The person I hate: Rood.

Me: Shut up.

A person could build a playground with your mood swings.

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?

Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.

|| 20 YEARS LATER ||

Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?

Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.

Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.

This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).

My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).

How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?

Are you 7/11 or 9/11?

Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!

Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!

Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!

Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!

Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?

Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?

Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.

Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!

Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!

Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!

Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!

Gwen: He does, you're not listening.

Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!

"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."

"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"

I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.

What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?

They both have no way home!

I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."

What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol

What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?

Hang in there!

Nah, bruh, my hairline straighter than a gay person's.

What do you call a black person having a fit?

A chocolate milkshake.