Personal jokes

You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!

The other person: Who?

You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.

I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?

You really thought n****r, didn't you?

I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.

I just cut everyone.

If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?

What war did the black community win?

The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.

"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"

"Claustrophobic!"

If a mentally challenged person shows up late,

Is it ok to call him tardy?

I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."

What is a black person's least favorite word game?

Hangman.

As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.

A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.

So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"

There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.

One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!

What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?

The depressay expressay.

Just kidding, bleach!

Here are some skeleton jokes.

You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.

If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.

I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.

I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.

I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!

I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.

I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.

Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!

So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

Name one person who would take an orphan?

Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.