Personal Jokes

I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.

Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!

Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?

I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.

Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?

A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.

So, a person walked into a shop.

Shop guy: "Hey RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD."

This is REALLY funny.

Please upvote, comment, and like.

Thank you very much.

Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?

Timmy is dead.

Teacher: Take a seat, class.

Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.

A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.

Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."

What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?

Pooreos.

What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?

"Happy Death-Day To You!"

PERSON: I need to go so bad!

TOILET: Long time no pee!!!

I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.

Person: You suck!

Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎

What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?

Only one gets fuel.

There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.

Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."

When a white person says the n word,

black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."

What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.

(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?

A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)

Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?

The grim reaper.