PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.
Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
Ahhhhhhhhhh, ma bored.
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
Why did the person peel his skin off? Because he wanted to.
Joker: How did the skeleton know it was going yo rain?
Person: Because he felt it in his bones?
Joker: He read the weather forcast you f*cking idiot.
A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.
A person had a child named Bl, another named Es, and one named S. The next was named You. They were a very unholy family.
Their children were shamed upon because their names spell out "Bless you."
Person: guess what?
Other person: what?
Person: Chicken Butt
