Personal jokes

Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.

This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).

My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).

What do you call a person whose heart stopped?

Dead.

Why did the Down syndrome person cross the road? Because there was a zebra crossing!

What did the homeless person get for Christmas?

- Nothing.

What do you call a short black person?

By their name, you racist!

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.

I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?

A millionheir.