Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?
2nd person: What?
1st person: A pianist.
Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")