Personal jokes
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"
The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"
The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?
A quarter-pounder with cheese.
What do you call a black person swimming?
Cursed Minecraft image.
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
Gay person to girl: What’s your favorite planet?
Girl: Penus-(penis)(venus), and what is yours?
Gay person: What else, it's Your Anus (Uranus)!😅
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope...
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.
2 people bought plants.
3 people bought shovels.
1 person yelled.
3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.
1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁♀️🤦♀️
What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?
Answer: A hooker.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
What’s a Mexican person’s favorite spot?
Cross country. 😉
1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?
2nd person: What?
1st person: A pianist.
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!