What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
Personal Jokes
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
What do you call a deaf person?
Whatever you want!
Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
I hate my life.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
What is the difference between an orphan and a homeless person? Nothing, haha.
Name one person who would take an orphan?
Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.
5 Cobra Kai Facts:
1: Johnny = Daniel
2: Miguel > Robby
3: Miyagi Do = Eagle Fang
4: Chozen and Daniel > Kreese and Silver
5: Tory is actually a good person.
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
I’m back and have a joke my friend said!
Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.
Person 2: What was it?
Person 1: He went as himself.
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
Me: Name all the planets.
Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.
Me: Not my anus!
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
