Person jokes
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
I know 5 fat people; you're 4 of them.
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?
The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?
You really thought n****r, didn't you?
Whoever made WorstJokesEver is going to hell.
I told my fam a joke.
They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"