People jokes
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
What do you call basketball for disabled people?
Rocket League?
What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Memes
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?
The NBA.
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
Boy: *scares girl*
Girl: "Gosh, you scared me, Jesus!"
Jesus: *Arrives out of nowhere and said, "What is it, human? I got work to do."*
Girl: What work?
Jesus: "Coming out of nowhere when people say 'Jesus.'"
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.
If white people turn black when they char, what happens to the black ones?
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.