People jokes
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!
What goes up and down and needs two people?
A seesaw.
What do you call something that has 50 legs but can't walk? 25 disabled people!
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
Midget
I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
Why do people poop?
Because it we need to!
I hate people that hate life.
Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.
*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents!
Hahaha come on people, they don't have parents, we can do what we like with them...
Rape...hurt...and sell them!
How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
4