Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
People Jokes
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents!
Hahaha come on people, they don't have parents, we can do what we like with them...
Rape...hurt...and sell them!
How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
4
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
Age is just a number.
Police are just people.
Jail is just a room.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
Why can’t Asian people play baseball?
Why?
'Cause they ate the bat!
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?
Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.
The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.
The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."
What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?
People actually want stuff in a supermarket.
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
What do you call basketball for disabled people?
Rocket League?
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
2001, Angry Birds was so amazing. Over 500 people in 2 birds.
What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.
What is something in common with gay people and ambulance trucks?
They both take it out the back and go "woo woo!"
