People jokes

Some people put zodiacs on everything.

They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.

Do depressed people hate swimming?

They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.

What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.

Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

I hate people that hate life.

Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

Midget

I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.

Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?

It took my sole.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!

There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.

One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:

Police: "What’s you name?"

Shut Up: "Shut Up."

Police: "Where's your manners?!"

Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."

I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.

I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.

What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.

Why shouldn’t you call people in China?

Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.

Guys, we should stop telling orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad. Oh...

Why are disabled people screwed?

Because you can't run or hide!

Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.

American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!

British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎