People jokes

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.

Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?

Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.

It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.

My family is like treasure; you need a map and a shovel to find them.

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

How do people grade pedophiles?

1st grade to 8th grade.

(I know it's orphan jokes but still)

Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.

Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.

How do you get two deaf people from fighting?

Turn off the lights and walk out.

What do you call a short person that goes to school?

A Sammie.

Why can't British people play chess?

Because they lost their queen.

What do blind people and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

You know when people say a joke about living?

That's because we are all living a joke.

Why can't Asian people use a telephone?

Because they might wing the wrong number.

People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.

Why do Black people not like country music?

Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.