People jokes

Who said white people can't jump?

Look at the footage from 9/11.

Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.

It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?

Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?

Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.

How do you get two deaf people from fighting?

Turn off the lights and walk out.

Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.

What do you call a short person that goes to school?

A Sammie.

My family is like treasure; you need a map and a shovel to find them.

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.

Why do Black people not like country music?

Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.

People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.

Why can't Asian people use a telephone?

Because they might wing the wrong number.

I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

You know when people say a joke about living?

That's because we are all living a joke.

What do blind people and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

Why can't British people play chess?

Because they lost their queen.

I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.