People jokes
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
Yo mama so fat...
...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.
This stuff is messed up, you people.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
Tell me orphan jokes are a really bad joke. People are really orphans, and there is a lot of 'em, and they are all depressed. Who would make fun of depressed people? Well, those dumbass evil people!!
What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.
Why did they invent white chocolate?
So Black people can be messy too.
One thing about disabled people is they never set foot in prison.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers upset? They ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plane.
Why are transgender people like confused kids?
Because they both don't know what they want to be in life.
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."
Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
Why do ableist people hate autistics?
They're scared they'll never be special enough.
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."