People jokes
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.
She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
Hello, this is Godlygirl26. I want to help people with their problems no matter what. There is nothing that God cannot do. I want y'all to know that God is with you, not any of those stone or wood "gods" but a true, loving, powerful God. DM this right here and I will answer. Hope I can help you! Love, Godlygirl26.
Memes
Did you know that, statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile? Not me though, not me though; I live next door to a lil 10 year old boy with a FAT ASS yenno what I'm sayin'???
Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.
I love gay people. UwU
Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!
Two Asian people have a black baby.
Something wrong.
Why can Asian people buy phones?
'Cause they might call the wrong number.
Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.
Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.