People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
People Jokes
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
Who's better, Hitler or Jesus?
Hitler: Jesus made bread for 1000 whereas Hitler made meat for 10,000. 😅😅😅😅 (no offense)
(To circumcised people)
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
Why do black people call each other brothers? Because they don't know who their fathers are.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.
A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.
People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"
This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.
All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?
Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.
