People jokes

Why do emo kids cost so much?

Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?

They are more open-minded.

I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.

(Extra Cholesterol)

3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!

What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?

Motherfuckers.

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

I did a good walk and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and people live in the house with my dog. I had to a dog and.

People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.

Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!

How do people grade pedophiles?

1st grade to 8th grade.

(I know it's orphan jokes but still)

Why can't British people play chess?

Because they lost their queen.

Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.

People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.

Who's better, Hitler or Jesus?

Hitler: Jesus made bread for 1000 whereas Hitler made meat for 10,000. 😅😅😅😅 (no offense)

(To circumcised people)

Why can't Asian people use a telephone?

Because they might wing the wrong number.

You know when people say a joke about living?

That's because we are all living a joke.

People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.

It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.