People jokes
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?
They left someone for memories!
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
Yo mama so fat...
...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.
Memes
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
Why do ableist people hate autistics?
They're scared they'll never be special enough.
Cool people: I can do anything.
Normal people: I can do nothing.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
My classmate, Hailey Legacy.
Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
"I have a three-head."
"I have a four-head."
Bald people have a seven-head.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
Why can’t English people play chess? They ain't got no queen.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.