People jokes
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
"9/11 people" say that jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
What do you call it when you see Chinese people in a gang?
The "Ching Chang Gang."
What's handsome and smart, you can hear him and see him? It's you good-looking guys! So sad you can't read this since you're blind. Oh geez, I just found this website and I want to make people laugh. Too bad they can't see the joke.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
What is a type of cancer that:
Affects you. Is caused by a device. Is annoying. People won't stop talking about it?
Easy, the answer is Fortnite.
What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?
We don't live in their heads.
Tumblr people: "There are an infinite amount of genders."
The cannibal kid: "Bitch, please. There's just one gender: Food."
Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣
An orphan told me people kept bullying him, so I said, "Tell your parents."
How many people can jump higher than a mountain? None. Mountains can't jump.
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.
What is the difference between white people and Africans? The white people watch "The Hunger Games," the Africans live it.
9/11 was pretty great to me, it's just hilarious to watch people lose at Jenga.