People Jokes

A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”

The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."

I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.

Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!

People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!

Hello, I am Sflugo. I am opening the Pro Orphan Joke Club because a lot of people are saying to get rid of them, but we say NO! If you want to join, comment and say, "#SaveOrphanJokes."

Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.

I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"

People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.

Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.

You are all going to be pun-ished!

Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?

They’re just two weeks to quit.

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?

Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?

A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."

Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."

Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"