People jokes

People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.

He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.

Every time French people greet me, they say "banjo."

Nga, I don't got no fucking banjo.

Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.

Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.

She got mad and ate the bus!

People who don't have common sense are just stupid people with ugly hearts. STOP HATING PEOPLE YOU NEVER KNOW! Also write "then exit the f word site," and I think we know that won't happen!!!

I L.O.V.E GWEN!!!!!!

Are people from Hamburg called Hamburgers?

What do blind people take for granted? Sight.

What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?

The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.

What do you call a pool full of disabled people?

Vegetable soup.

You are all fucking disgusting!

Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?

White people be like, "Less bomb Ukraines hospitals and schools!"

Hahaha, dumb white people!

How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

With a taste test.

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.

When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

Why did people say a man had nothing? ... Because he was a-nonymous.

Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.

You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!

What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?

White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!