People jokes
What do you call a mom that is yours?
Your mom!
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?
Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.
Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly.
How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?
None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?
People love you.
Don't die.
People are insane
I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?
They’re jealous that autism can speak.
(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
Your mum... payed other people to take you!!!!
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
I only have a few friends, like if you relate.
Based on a true story.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.
People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.