People jokes

Black people run fast.

Why do people think Mozart was autistic?

Because he was probably retarded.

Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.

The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”

The cycle of Pionel Pessi:

- Ghosting👻

- Diving🐬

- Complaining to teammates😡

- Complaining to refs🤬

- Missing sitters🤦‍♂️

- Gets a lucky open net tapin⚽️

- Proceed to get 🐐 shouts

- Repeat🔁

People with REAL ball knowledge know he’s just an overrated tapin merchant 😭

One thing about disabled people is they never set foot in prison.

Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.

What job lets you kill the most people?

An abortion doctor.

How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

People in 1912: The Titanic is unsinkable!

Iceberg: Hold my beer.

Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.

Why are skinny people skinny?

Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.

Who thinks people should stop doing orphan jokes? Type here so we can talk about it.

"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"

Where do depressed people go to eat?

Suicide Sonic.

Tell me orphan jokes are a really bad joke. People are really orphans, and there is a lot of 'em, and they are all depressed. Who would make fun of depressed people? Well, those dumbass evil people!!

Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?

Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.

My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...

What do you call a special needs army?

The special forces.

What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.

What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.