People jokes
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."
Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
Why do people with Down syndrome always look funny?
It’s their funny face.
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry.
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
Once I sucked my mum's titties. Most adopted people won't know about that.
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
Three people having sex is a threesome; two people is a twosome. So next time someone calls you "handsome," don't take it as a compliment.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.