People jokes
The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
How did two retarded people get ran over in one second?
They're my friends.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
Joke 1) 9/11 was such a tragedy... Two drunk people drove a plane into a building.
Joke 2) If 6-2=4, why are there no more towers?
Joke 3) Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."
Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
Why do people with Down syndrome always look funny?
It’s their funny face.
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry.
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
Once I sucked my mum's titties. Most adopted people won't know about that.
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."