Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people, then it exploded.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?
Their ankles.
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those that know binary and those that don't.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
