People jokes
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
I'm like a rubber because people hit me as I can't feel.
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
Two people were on a boat. They were afloat on water!
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
My people are starving. Stop Africa jokes. Not funny >:(
Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.
What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?
Black people don't shoot up schools.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
Some people decide to start a blog.
Others decide to start a blog.
You know what my sink started?
A clog.
I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.
The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
I have a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. It's a shame they never work!
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?