Once I sucked my mum's titties. Most adopted people won't know about that.
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
Three people having sex is a threesome; two people is a twosome. So next time someone calls you "handsome," don't take it as a compliment.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
Some people don't appreciate what I do for a living.
oo----- ()
What's the POINT in stabbing people?
HAHAHA
This page is shocking.
What's wrong with you people?
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
I made a joke about unemployed people. It didn’t work.
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
