What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
Do you know how Chinese people roast? They say, "Boy, if you don't get your chi chong head, boy!"
The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.
Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.
What's one thing gay people can't draw?
A straight line.
How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.
After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
