People jokes
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D
What do Greek people never want to have on their food? Grease.
Yo people!
Little Johnny's actually dead!
Why did the wheel fall?
Because there were too many fat people on it.
America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.
White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"
The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."
1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"
Why do white people carry Confederate flags?
To remind us that they are losers.
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay people can play Star Wars.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
What mountain do people like to race on?
Mount Rushmore.
Get it?
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
People named Aaron are annoying. Why have two A’s when you can have none? (Ron)
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
Depression jokes are wrong, stop making them; they're cruel and nasty. So stop; people are feeling like they're hated when they read your orphan jokes or depression jokes, so PLEASE stop.
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.