Hide Jokes

Bloodcurdling scream

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”



Why did Justin Bieber Start playing hide and seek with his fans - because they keepped

Blake Johnson

I was playing hide and seek at work the other day unfortunately it ended me in hospital tho icu


What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death? His hide and seek skills


in Roblox

Figure:who wants to play hide and seek?

Seek and hide: me

Figure:ok seek ur it me and hide will hide.

Seek:why do I have to be the seeker?

Figure: because ur name is in seeker



What do emo’s and ninjas both have in common… they both hide and cut things


in Roblox

Figure : who wants to play hide and seek.

Seek and hide: me

Figure:ok hide and I will hide and seek will be it.

Seek:why do I have to be it?

Figure: because ur name says so.

Stand Up Comedian

in Standup Comedian

Why do we call it dead bodies? Nobody says alive bodies! like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG ITS FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones tho." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on husband, help me with the bodies." If its a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"

GG Miller

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.



how do you starve a hippie, you hide its wellfair check under the soap

Manga fan

I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.

Sad Sarah

2 women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement. Emma turns to Jane and says "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"r> Emma replies with "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."

Jane retorts with "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."


when the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot. bing,bang,boom


Ann frank is still the nazi hide and go seek champion