What do you call two redheads on Mars?
Locals.
People Jokes
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."
What kind of people love donuts in the morning? Cops, because they don't have anything else to do.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
What's the difference between you and the internet? People want a connection from the internet.
Rape jokes aren’t funny. People like me that are actually victims of rape are triggered by them.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
Why do people love camping?
Because it's in tents!
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
The Tupperware people came to our house. They asked my wife, "Where's the kitchen?"
Sorry, I have only lived here for 3 months, but my jewelry is upstairs in my jewelry box located in my bedroom.
How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.
Me, my brother, and my dad.
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"
A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. After 10 shots of vodka, the guy had, the bartender figured if he talked to him, he would tell him everything as he’s not sober.
Bartender: Hey, that’s some nice jewellery you have there. It must be expensive.
Guy: Yeah, this bracelet is made of 100% diamond. It cost me like 250 thousand dollars. What a bargain, eh?
Bartender: Seems like you make a lot of money. What do you do for a living?
Guy: I take cash from the bank and don’t give it back. It takes a lot of moral courage to rob banks to provide for my family.
Bartender: What? If that’s the case, then why do you even pay for the jewellery or this beer? You’re a hypocrite, that’s what you are, justifying robbing people as a living.
Guy: Hypocrite? You’re right. I'm living with double standards to justify my actions.
(5 seconds later)
Guy: Aye, open the cash register and give me your wallet or I will blow your fucking brains out. I fucking hate hypocrites and I will not gonna be one of em!
I'm just happy no idiots are calling these people fat-phobic.
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
The village people said that they need their idiot back; you better get going!
