Pay jokes

How do you know if a woman that is poor who is between 18-24 years old is poor enough to do anything for money to help pay her bills? She would be working as a lesbian prostitute inside a lesbian hotel in San Francisco, CA.

Me and my mom order Chinese food.

My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

Press F to pay respects to Grumpy Cat!

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.

He also forgot to pay the power bill.

If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.

It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.

But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .

Fat teachers be like: "I hope you're paying a ten chin."

Your mum... payed other people to take you!!!!

Why do you have to pay to see Russian people?

Because the zoo is not free, Duhhhhh🙄

Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber?

I had to get from your forehead to your big ass nose.

If I make a great joke, I will pay for it.

Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?

Rob, you forgot to pay me for letting you sucky sucky on my thang.

AKA you're for sale.

The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."

The doctor says, "Next, please."

Women getting paid is bad, women should not get paid...

Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?

A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.

A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:

TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!

I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)

Why is the orphan so dumb?

Because he didn’t have parents to pay for it.

I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.

I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!