Parent jokes
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.