Parent jokes
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
Memes
MOOOMMMM
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."